Puerto Vallarta a Boomerang

I first arrived in Puerto Vallarta Mexico in August of 2022. I had just purchased my dream boat, a 1977 51 foot Formosa, my kids coined “The Pirate Ship” aka Houdini. Getting Houdini my classic sailboat from Anacortes in Washington State to Mexico felt huge and it was. I was making these huge leaps. The YouTube channel had just reached one hundred thousand subscribers and with the help of my long term boyfriend, I completed a huge refit on the classic ketch of my dreams.

Anacortes Washington USA

What I didn’t know is just how much more my life would change in the next two and a half years… Within several weeks of arriving in Mexico my boyfriend Searle and I broke up. I was both angry and devastated. I haven’t said much about this publicly as I don’t think what he did defines him as a person, but rather a blip in a young man’s judgment. A growing pain while navigating who he wanted to become. I was sad. Very sad, we had made a great team, but some things you just can’t come back from.

Within in a blink, I had found myself sailing alone around Mexico. It was a time of deep self reflection that ultimately built my confidence as a sailor. I learned that I could in fact solo my 51 foot classic ketch and for as difficult as the boat was to single hand, it was just what I needed. In the summer of 2023 Blake and Bianca came to sail with me. I thought it would be fun to hire some crew for the summer. I asked around and a friend recommended a couple of local guys. This is where I met Esteban, Violet’s father. The moment he stepped onto the boat with his electric smile and an easy laugh there was nothing else to do but fall in love. I developed a huge crush.

My Son Blake and I navigating through the Bay of Banderas

The summer ended, Blake and Bianca went back to school and our summer romance unfolded. We found ourselves attempting to blend our lives on a backdrop of palm lined beaches and secluded waterfalls. It felt as though our story had been torn from the pages of an epic adventure novel. Esteban began teaching me how to surf and I took him sailing. Love in all forms is the nectar of life, there isn’t a single love story that has unfolded in my life that I would take back no matter how it ended. This was no exception.

Bianca

Puerto Vallarta Mexico… one of the kids favorite summers to date

By the beginning of 2024 I was pregnant with Violet. We were both excited about what the future would hold, but as time passed it became more clear there were two different pictures of the future. In May we decided to sail south and have Violet in Costa Rica. Halfway into the trip he found sailing to be too difficult and too much work. He wanted to leave me there on Houdini and to return to his hometown and surf indefinitely. I was heartbroken. A big part of me wanted to follow him. The elephant in the room was that he wasn’t willing to contribute. I just couldn’t see myself pulling all of the weight of caring for a family and full financial responsibility alone but together. 

San Sebastián Mexico

Chiapas July 2024, it was raining cats and dogs, hurricane season was in full swing. I had missed the weather window south. It was 107° F inside the boat and I was getting more pregnant by the moment. I decided to leave Houdini in Chiapas Mexico and fly to Costa Rica to give birth to Violet. It was now or never if I waited any longer I would have been barred from flying. Chiapas was riddled with mosquitos carrying dengue fever. I reluctantly left my boat. I feared I might never see it again.

September 21 2024 - Birth Abroad

Violet was born in September of 2024 three days before my birthday in Escazu, Costa Rica. Houdini waited quietly in Chiapas, Mexico slowly slipping into disrepair while I gathered myself and my new baby and made a plan. I called everyone I knew, trying to find someone that would cowboy Houdini back to Puerto Vallarta with a rotten Bowsprit and unseen for six months in the most tropical and wet location Mexico had to offer.

Thankfully a friend from Texas, and his girlfriend brought Houdini back to Puerto Vallarta to be near Esteban, which gave me more time to see if I could somehow make things work.

Rotten wooden bowsprit

I battled through emotions that year desperately trying to hold onto some semblance of self. Wading through the nuanced detail that is truly getting to know someone outside of the glinting light of a tropical fairytale romance. I had to decide where the line between right and wrong really stood. In the end there was an end and I am left with a bright new beginning.

Which brings me to this moment.  I write this from a secluded bay 165 nautical miles traveled south towards the Panama Canal which will take us to the blue waters of the Caribbean. On board we are three women and a baby girl. I am happy. I have been afforded this privilege of being a mother again but this time with the lens of experience that comes with trying, failing and knowing that the important thing is simply trying again.

A new journey begins

I day dream sometimes about falling in love. The thrill and the ease of being with someone that sees your light and somehow finds a way to make it shine even brighter. Then I take pause and ask myself if it would be worth shifting out of this perfect moment and the ease I’ve found sailing with this little band of girls.